Jeans? What jeans? Do you mean yoga pants?
No, Mama, we don’t mean yoga pants. You aren’t doing yoga, anyways. We mean jeans. Because sometimes the leggings just have to stay in the drawer. And when you wear jeans for the first time after you’ve had your baby, it’s a cause for celebration! So let us help you get to that milestone faster by finding you the best jeans for your new mom bod.
The pooch. Sorry. You now have a pooch. Oh, you’re still holding hope that it’ll go away given time? Good luck, it’s going to be a lot of work, but when you get there, you’ll be so happy! (It isn’t going away. You can have a 6 pack but your section scar will still pooch out and your uterus will still sag through your muscles.)
Muffin top. Oh, you’ve never had a muffin top before? Well, you best not try on your old jeans if you wanna keep that saying true.
Comfort. You’ve just spent the last 9 months in stretchy clothes, jeans are going to feel terrible. There are varying degrees of terrible, though. Find a pair that you can wait until you get home to unbutton. And then, after you get used to jeans again, you’ll actually wear them for more than 30 seconds after you walk through the door.
These are your styles now:
High waists You can just tuck that shit right the hell in with these H&M Skinny High Waist Jeans. Be careful not to tuck in too much, though because you don’t want them to look like maternity pants that just come up to your bra.
Mid-Rise Welcome to your comfort zone. These Express Mid Rise Stretch+Supersoft Jean Leggings are minimal risk jeans. They come just below your belly button so you don’t run [as big] a risk of muffin top or of looking like you’re still preggers.
Skinny Jeans or Jeggings Give these Old Navy Pull-On Destructed Rockstar Jeggings a try to see if you’re happy with them. You can still do this. Even post-baby. Even with the pooch and the love handles and your hips wider than they’ve ever been. You probably just need to wear a long, flowy top to make sure your legs aren’t sausages. Or if they are, parts of that sausage is covered up. Pro-tip: Boots and a long sweater minimize the sausage look.
Low Rise You don’t do low rise anymore, Mama. Those don’t work. Don’t force it, it will not go well. You will look like someone popped a can of biscuits. Best case scenario, your bod is on point, but you’re bending down with your kid so much, everyone’s seeing your ass crack. Which is skanky.
It’s not forever.
If you work you can totally get a banging body back. But you have to dress for each step of the way and no matter how perfect your pregnancy went, the chances of having the same body after growing a baby inside it are pretty slim. Your new body may not be what you pictured. But you can sure as hell find you some jeans that make you ok with a post-baby you, so do not give up.